3rd time's a charm...

So here we go again. I'm back with a personal trainer. And reviving my blog.

Sure I could use losing some weight since I gained all of what I earned off... but that's not the real reason, just a happy by-product. Sadly, I've been going through some depression. It's entirely irrational, I know it but I go through the negative self hate talk, not over anything specifically...I just didn't feel like I was accomplishing anything good. Anyway not to go into a huge spiel, but once I hit rock bottom I got to thinking when I was at my best. Every time it was when I had a huge goal, something nearly "impossible" to accomplish. Each instance seemed to point to when I was training to lose weight and get fit. So, to break through all this negativity I'm back with them again.

I think I just about made my trainer cry--when I told her "why this, why now". Apparently it's a little rare for people to be overweight and secure of their bodies, but want to train because working out and eating right just feels better on the psyche. Apparently I am starting with all the right reasons, instead of excuses--like feeling the need to impress someone for a reunion. All I know is this has to stop, my body and mind is sluggish. So time to take the bull by the horns. This is my third time with Total Health and Fitness. I have been on every diet imaginable, and have struggled with weight since my gallbladder surgery in 2002. I've had varying success, but most of it has been a struggle to stay on because it cut out too many things that I liked. I've been impressed (obviously) with them, because they customize everything to me, foods I like and stay away from foods I despise, and the weight in the past has fallen off fast (my last go-around was 30 lbs in 4 months, nothing to snub your nose at). But the part I like the best is that they can help me do a reasonable workout, something that is effective and challenging but not that I dread. But as much as I love them, I told them I'm hoping this is the last time I'm in--that my ultimate goal is to make a lifestyle of just staying happy and active.

So wish me luck on this journey.